This week as you look at your grudge list look at why you wrote that that person or situation and what aspect of you or your life would God have wanted it different for you. Is it your opinion of yourself, your insecurities such as money, what you believe is your right(s) or any other aspect. We then can then see a pattern emerge of what drives us.

​

Until next time, Love God with everything you have, thank Him for all the good and the bad, and talk with Him often.

We have been looking at who really is in control and what we will do about it. This is much more than surrendering to God's will and ways. Turning our will over to God is a significant expression of readiness, availability, and obedience.

​

If you are willing you might turn to God and say "Here I am." We see this 7 or so times throughout scripture and it is a lot more than just saying I turn my will to God.

​

If you can say "Here I am," then get ready for God to say "I want you to go..." By letting go of control, accepting that our efforts aren't sufficient, and willingly entrusting ourselves to God, we experience freedom and we live excited go where God wants to send us.

​

Are you ready to go where God wants to send you? Then say "Here I am" and enjoy the ride!

​

Until next time, Love God with everything you have, thank Him for everything, and talk with Him often.

God created us in his image to be with Him and to glorify him. He created us to be in relationship with him. After each stage of creation, God sees that what He has made is good. However, after the creation of humanity—male and female, in His image—God observes that His creation is very good:

Genesis 1:31 (NIV): “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.”

God describing humanity as “very good,” is significant. It implies that humanity holds a special place in creation. Created in God’s image (imago Dei), means we reflect aspects of God’s character, such as the capacity for relationship, love, creativity, moral reasoning, and stewardship over creation. Our making amends strengthens the relationship and love that we were created with and for.

When we make amends and become accountable for our actions we are making an attempt to repair and strengthen relationships that have been damaged. However, It is more than that.

Thomas Keating, a Trappist monk, demonstrates that this practice of making amends develops humility and compassion while it allows us to grow a deeper relationship with God. Making amends gives us a freedom from the grip of remorse. You know what that feels like. It’s that feeling that, metaphorically or literally, demands our constantly looking over our shoulders to see who or what is chasing us.

Dwight Edwards wrote that our concerns should not focus on what God freed us from but what God freed us for. We were created and freed to be in relationships and to love as God loves us. It is that view that gives us the courage to own our part of conflict and the humility to correct the actions we took that harmed others.

This week let’s focus on why you were created and freed. What were you created for and freed for? It’s not that we are in finance, or sales, or that we are a spouse or parent as those are roles we have been given to live. What we were created and called for might look like being in finance to love others by being honest and helpful in helping them create a healthy financial life. As a dad I see that I was made for being an example to my sons on how to love and to my daughters as an example of a man worth partnering with. Looking at our why in the things God made us for, we can then reflect on the situations and relationships that need us do things differently.

According to English dictionary, self-reflection is serious thought or mediation of one’s character, actions, and motives.

​

We have dedicated a significant amount of time to examining our actions this month; perhaps it's time to dive deeper into what we do. I find that I not only learn, but also grow, when I scrutinize my motives. The thing about motives is that they're not always visible so then we become muddled and need more strength or insight to discern our true motives.

​

It is only through our relationship with God that we can be shown our true motives. God constantly shows us more and more, and if we truly want to grow, we have to be willing to hear what he has to say. God’s wisdom is something we cannot understand, and with his love for us, we can’t go wrong listening to him. Psalms 139 tells us, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”

​

This week, as you spend time in prayer, ask God to reveal more of your motives. Ask him to show you where they come from. Ask him to rid you of the negative ones how you can use your motives to serve others.

I hope this morning has been peaceful and that you have taken some time to reflect on the notable events from this past week—those to be celebrated and those that we can learn from.

As we continue to examine the relationships in our lives that need repair to improve certain situations, we must go beyond simply identifying a name and what we hope to gain. We need to reflect on the impact of our actions, behaviors, and words. 

It's natural to make some assumptions during this process, and that's okay. Perfection isn't necessary because we are building within ourselves a willingness to go further and acknowledge our role in the conflict.

This week, take a moment to pause and reflect on the list from last week. Consider what effect our actions had on others. Is anything holding you back from attempting to repair the relationship by taking responsibility for your actions? 

For many of us, fear of retaliation or the possibility that the other person won't be receptive can be significant. The fear that the conflict will just get worse can keep us from moving forward. 

Hold on to these thoughts and remember:

• We cannot control others' actions and feelings
• We move forward by doing what we believe is best
• We have been given wisdom from our experiences and the insights of others 

Embracing this understanding can empower us to take meaningful steps toward living in healthier relationships, personal growth, and experiencing more of God's peace.

Until next time I would, love God with everything you have, thank Him for all the good and the bad, and talk with Him often.

One of my favorite quotes from Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk states "We do not exist for ourselves alone, and it is only when we are fully convinced of this fact that we begin to love ourselves properly and thus also love others." We were created for relationship. We were created to be in relationship with others. With that, it's fascinating how often our desire for change stems from interactions with others. Interestingly, when change feels forced upon us, we often find someone to blame. We were created for relationships, yet they are often the very thing we take for granted and neglect until we "have time."

Have you ever thought what is your vision for your relationships? Each and every type. The seemly insignificant to the ones most greatly treasured. If not it is an eye opening experience that shows us what is possible in life. What stands in the way of your relationships being all they can (and should) be?

Let’s spend sometime examining our relationships and what is referred to as our side of the street. Let’s take a look at what we have done and do to others so that we can remove conflict and tension with others. The healthier our relationships the better we can love both ourselves and others.

To do this we need to clean up on “our side of the street.” It is so very easy to make lists of people that did this or that and decide they need to change (and change now). Is it not easy to blame someone for our perceived misfortune? Just as a side note, I wonder how many people have me on their list(s).

How could someone put us on their list? Why would someone put our name on their list? I also ask why should someone put me on their list? What have I done that has caused harm to someone else? Did I snap at my son when he interrupted me? Did I talk badly about a co-worker to make myself look better? Don’t just stay at the easy hurts. I have had to list people I took from, people I used to get what I wanted, and people that I had crippled emotionally and even physically.

This week, make a list of the people we have harmed. That is it. Nice and simple, just make a list. If guilt enters the process simply walk away for a bit. What is done is done. Shame might show up. Shame tells me I AM… and it is wrong 100% of the time. For example, I am not a lier. I lied but I am not a lier. 

One more note… The first time I did this my list was pages of legal pad paper. When I did this a few months ago I had 41 names. I wonder how many people will be on the list this week? The amount of people on the list doesn’t matter, I was demonstrating that this is a process that never really ends.

Have a great week and give this some dedicated time and then don’t be afraid to jot names down throughout the week that come to mind.

Have you ever been truly in control? I doubt it. From our very first breath, we have had no real control. Did you choose your parents? Were you able to make her say yes? If you are in control, then why do you have that diagnosis?

​

We have a choice, but not control. This month is about realizing that we do not control, but we do have the ability to choose. Our wise choices are those made with understanding that someone or something else is in control and then are made with a selfless heart.

​

Nelson Mandela is credited with saying, “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” When we try to control, it often comes from a place of fear, not from the ability to make free, uncoerced decisions.

​

This week, examine your choices. Are you making them out of a place of freedom or out of a place of fear?

​

Until next time, love God with everything you have, thank Him for all the good and the bad, and talk with Him often.

We’re going to take a look at the hurt and damage we’ve caused others by simply making a list. It’s a list of people we’ve hurt, betrayed, or pushed aside for our own selfish reasons.

Now, I know you might be thinking, “But she deserved it!” or “What would you have done if you were me?” or “It wasn’t that bad…”. But let me tell you, all of that doesn’t matter. We’re doing all this work to live differently, not to excuse our behaviors.

​

So, let’s get started. First, ask God to reveal or show you those who we’ve hurt. As you collect these names, write them down (on a piece of paper) with a quick note of the hurt.

​

For example, I lied to her. I cheated to win, and it hurt him. I stole xyz from them…

​

Piece of cake. It’s time to lighten up our shoulders and souls. We don’t have to carry any of this anymore.

​

Until next time I would, love God with everything you have, thank Him for all the good and the bad, and talk with Him often.